Game text

902,736 entries

• Ah, at least SOME of you obey your king well.
• Did you hear me say, "Mad King says?" No!
• I did not say "Mad King says!"
• Fight for me, my subjects! I command it!
• Hurry! I grow impatient!
• Hmm. What's that over there?
• Correct!
• No!
• Stop!
• Even my bones are displeased.
• Yes, you are worthy of my benevolent rule.
• I see two hundred and fifty years haven't changed you much. You are all still mortal. You all still...die!
• It seems the sylvari are here to stay. As no one has nipped them in the BUD, I must assume they're all of good STALK. Maybe they'll GROW on me. (laugh) Plant puns, people, please!
• I'm so disappointed that the dwarves have disappeared. I had so many good jokes about short things. And beards.
• Why can't you borrow money from a dwarf? Because they're always a little short. Ha! Get it? Ha ha! Ah, yes, I miss dwarves.
• I wanted a sylvari court musician for a while, but I gave up on the idea. I'm told their music is too SAP-py! It's really wasted on you.
• I hear—oh, this is a good one—I hear the mortality rate for hylek is very high. They croak every night! (laugh)
• What's a norn's favorite drink? The next one! (laugh) They're all drunk.
• What's the fastest way to anger a norn? Tell her you've never heard of her. Ahhh, it's funny because it's true. (laugh)
• Were you aware that grawl have engineers? It's true. I hear one of them invented a new gadget called a "stick."
• Sylvari are certainly naive. They'll be-LEAF anything they hear! (laugh)
• At the Durmand Priory, what is an asura's best friend? A bookah.
• I fought an asura warrior the other day, and my shins are KILLING me! (laugh)
• Here's a funny story. Recently, one of my vassals said to me, "Your Majesty! I can't feel my legs!" And I replied, "Of course, you can't, stubby. I cut your arms off!" And I had! (laugh)
• What do you call a sylvari who's round and green? MELON-y! You know, like the name, but also the fruit? The, the melon, Melony... Why aren't you all laughing? Laugh! Or I'll kill every last one of you humorless worms!
• Lunatic Courtier
• Meal Feast: Double-click to set out a Feast of Mushroom Pizzas to share with anyone in the area. Feast stays active for 5 minutes.
• Marching Orders
• "Pollution clean-up efforts are often tiresome, thankless affairs. You need a friend in times like these. So, here you go."
  —Carmel
• Mop Of Avenging
• That's interesting. Tell me more.
• Countess of Hakewood
• Feast[s] of Mushroom Pizzas
• Does Kudu do this kind of thing often? Threaten Rata Sum?
• Meal Feast: Double-click to set out a Feast of Rosemary-Roasted Meat to share with anyone in the area. Feast stays active for 5 minutes.
• Feast[s] of Rosemary-Roasted Meat
• Meal Feast: Double-click to set out a Feast of Spicy Lime Steaks to share with anyone in the area. Feast stays active for 5 minutes.
• Feast[s] of Spicy Lime Steaks
• Meal Feast: Double-click to set out a Feast of Cabbage Stirfry to share with anyone in the area. Feast stays active for 5 minutes.
• Feast[s] of Cabbage Stirfry
• Meal Feast: Double-click to set out a Feast of Deluxe Burgers to share with anyone in the area. Feast stays active for 5 minutes.
• Feast[s] of Deluxe Burgers
• Meal Feast: Double-click to set out a Feast of Krytan Meatball Dinners to share with anyone in the area. Feast stays active for 5 minutes.
• Feast[s] of Dill Meatball Dinners
• Meal Feast: Double-click to set out a Feast of Dilled Poultry Piccata to share with anyone in the area. Feast stays active for 5 minutes.
• Feast[s] of Dilled Poultry Piccata
• Meal Feast: Double-click to set out a Feast of Sesame-Roasted Dinners to share with anyone in the area. Feast stays active for 5 minutes.
• Feast[s] of Sesame-Roasted Dinners
• Meal Feast: Double-click to set out a Feast of Sesame-Roasted Meat to share with anyone in the area. Feast stays active for 5 minutes.
• Feast[s] of Sesame-Roasted Meat