Private Property of P.I. Joko DO NOT TOUCH Dear Diary, Allow me to catch you up: Everyone in Kryta is an idiot and I hate it here. There's a twit of a princeling who can't seem to stop pulling the wings off of flies. Over and over—does he expect a different result? I'm sure he was dropped on his overly round head as a babe. Repeatedly. It's not as if the flies that survive have the capacity to spread rumors about his cruelty. What could possibly be the point of going back to that well? So shortsighted. So wasteful. So UNINSPIRED. Today, in the spirit of magnanimity, I pointed out a few creatures that might survive torture and be of use afterward. The coddled simpleton is surrounded by servants, ready to suffer and to even thank him for the attentions. To my utter horror he responded by engaging me in a contest of puns. It was atrocious and I couldn't extricate myself quickly enough for comfort. (...I may have actually met him in battle for several volleys. But that's between you and me. It's so boring here!) I will be overjoyed when this ordeal of Mother's diplomatic tours comes to an end. Yours, Iggy